Behind Her Hazel Eyes
by The-Eye-of-Slytherin
Summary: "I lay, deep in my thoughts, and I can't help but wonder if I'm just making another awful mistake… If I'm merely setting myself up to fail." The highs and the lows of Blaise Zabini's 6th and 7th Years, at Hogwarts, with snippets of his past. Blaise Z/Daphne G.
1. Introduction

Behind her Hazel Eyes…~

I've made _so many_ mistakes.

Of course, I've also made many excellent decisions, but that's a different story...

She's always there, whether she's in my sight, or in the back of my mind… I can't help but notice her. I don't know when I really began to notice though, or when she crept her way into my thoughts… But, before I knew it, I knew things about her. Like how her rare smile never quite reaches her eyes… Or how her dark locks bounce slightly as she walks… I suppose I finally caught myself when I realized that she stayed in my mind, even when it had been long since she left the room. Even now I can't get my mind off of her. It has come to a point where I actually look to see if she is around, somewhere nearby. Of course, I am never disappointed. I often go to the library for a more peaceful environment, and she seems to think along the same lines. I find that we often sit just across from each other. A few words here and there are spoken, of course… And with that, it began… First year feelings all over again. Memories of when life was so simple, and most of my childhood innocence was still intact. I remembered how beautiful I had thought she was. How smart, how cunning, how sharp… I remembered how I had once admired her spirit… And then I realized that spirit had grown stronger. Never weakened by all the hell she and everyone else had been put through.

She is… flawless… Complete perfection…

But now as I lay, deep in my thoughts, I can't help but wonder if I'm just making another awful mistake...

If I'm merely setting myself up to fail.


	2. Ch 1 - People, people, too many people

_Chapter 1 ~ People, people, too many people…_

"Hurry up dear! My grandmother could walk faster than you when she was a hundred and three… and let me tell you her hips weren't as good as they used to be" my mother told me a-matter-of-factly as we walked the busy streets of Diagon Alley. "Now, we need to get you quite a few things so we can't dawdle, dear. Robes, you need new robes. Blaise, dear, would you just stop growing, or I'll have to drop a brick on your head!" my mother laughed shrilly and many people turned their heads to watch her.

I shook my head, and walked the slightest bit faster to keep up with my all-too-energetic mother, and she hummed to herself, _apparently_ completely naïve of the fact many were looking at us. I sighed and stuffed my hands in my pockets, keeping my head low. Suddenly my mother stopped in her tracks and I had to move off to the side so as not to crash into her. "Oh! Look at this Blaise! Its antique, I know it!" she exclaimed, but by the time I had a chance to look to see what 'it' was, she was already inside the shop.

"Thought we were in a rush" I muttered to myself as I made my way into the little shop, which smelt all too much of my Great Aunts strong perfume. Shuddering in memory of the first time I met her, I made my way over to my mother who was speaking to the owner of the shop about the little chest in the display. The shop keeper was an old woman, with a rather bored expression on her face, and I was glad to note she looked nothing like my Great Aunt.

"I do think it would go well in my bedroom" my mother explained to the woman, as she paid and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Like the one you bought three days ago?" I reminded her and she paused for a moment before giving me a smile and a wink. "Can never have too much antique furniture, Blaise. If there's a choice between the pretty and the antique, always go for the antique, my dear" she told me, and I raised my eyebrows. What did she think I was going to do with that information?

After a long discussion (with herself, partially in Italian) my mother decided she couldn't make me carry the chest all through Diagon alley so she would leave it at the little shop until we were ready to go back home. When we finally left the shop I was hurried to Madam Malkins, and it turns out I had indeed gone up two sizes in the last year. When my mother found out about this, she had laughed so hard a young girl in the store had pointed and cried.

We made our way around, and by the time we left that evening I was beat. Probably also because she had made me drag the bloody chest around all over the house until she had found the perfect spot for it, which had ended up to be in her room, exactly where she had wanted it in the first place. "Oh, thank you, Blaise…" my mother smiled at me and then made a shooing motion with her hand. "You can go now" she said, dismissively and I shook my head and walked out of the room. So much for thank you.

As I was packing my trunks I came across some of my things from the year before, but I quickly threw them away without a second glance. Who needed painful memories? The next day I would be going back to Hogwarts and that was a painful enough thought as it was. No freedom, homework and routine. Oh yes, Hogwarts was the life, especially with the added bonus of having to put up with all the people who I despised so much.

Slipping into my bed, I didn't bother with the covers, hoping I could at least get a few hours sleep before the night was up…

* * *

"Write to me at least once a day! You say you will every year and you never do! Is that how you treat the loving mother who raised you?!" my mother crossly exclaimed as I stood outside of the Hogwarts express, trunks in hand, ready to board. "Mother, I never tell you I'm going to write to you every day…" I tell her, though I know she isn't listening. "Alright, your train is about to leave, take care dear!"

"Stay out of the forbidden forest, I know it is tempting, but…" my mother continued but I had stopped listening, with a slight smirk, my head now filled with pictures of a reddish-brown coat, that- "Blaise!" my mother cut into my thoughts. "Are you listening to me?!" she asked, and she looked appalled of her son. "Have to go, train to catch" I murmured quietly, before turning with a dismissive wave.

Walking towards the Hogwarts express I could tell she was not pleased with me, but that didn't stop her from calling "Love you!" and waving whole-heartedly to me as I boarded. Groaning I turned and called "Bye" to her, abruptly, which sounded more dismissive and colder then I had meant it. Especially in public. Oh well.

I finally made my way down the train and stopped at a familiar compartment. Inside were seated Gregory Goyle, Vincent Crabbe and Pansy Parkinson. Did I have the patience to put up with them today? I decided I did, seeing as I was with my mother all morning, and making my way in, I chucked my trunks into the luggage rack and sat down next to Crabbe and Goyle, leaving Parkinson with a seat to herself. I really can't stand her voice… Or her nose... "Hey Blaise" Parkinson said, and I gave her a slight nod in greeting.

It was only a few minutes after when Malfoy made his way into the compartment and I had immediately wished I had chosen a different one. The ignorant show off had little more brains then his owl. "Zabini, Goyle, Crabbe, Parkinson" he acknowledged us one by one, and I ignored him as Crabbe and Goyle grunted their hello's and Parkinson jumped up with an excited squeal as soon as she saw him.

He sat down next to Parkinson, and I noted she looked more like a loyal dog who would sit at his feet, than she did his girlfriend… The train began to move then, and I sighed, staring out the window as I always did on these train rides. The time passed slowly and surely, however an unexpected knock at the compartment door made everyone glance up. The door opened and a nervous looking third year walked in, holding out a parchment tied with a violet coloured ribbon.

Holding it out, I saw my name written on it, and I reached out and took it from her, quite confused as to what it was for. The girl darted off and I unrolled the parchment, to find a note that read;

'Mr. Blaise Zabini,

I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in compartment C.

Sincerely, H.E.F Slughorn'

"Well, what is it?" Malfoy demanded as I stuffed the note into my pocket, and I glanced up at him. "Invitation" I replied with disinterest. Malfoy didn't seem too pleased, especially at my bored tone. "From who?" he asked, and I rolled my eyes and pulled out the invitation again, tossing it at him so as not to be disturbed any more then absolutely necessary.

He unrolled it and read it a few times over, his brow furrowing as he thought. Parkinson read it over his shoulder, at a much slower pace. Tossing it back at me, I once again shoved it into my pocket, hoping he would stay quiet, now his curiosity was satisfied, but of course he didn't. "Who's H.E.F Slughorn?" Parkinson asked and I shrugged, glancing back out the window. "Probably a new professor" I replied and she thought about this for a long moment.

"So, are you going?" Malfoy asked and I nodded, boredly. I'd do anything to get out of here for a few minutes.


	3. Ch 2 - All hail The Chosen One

_Chapter 2 ~ All hail "The Chosen One"_

There weren't many people when I arrived at compartment C, though I recognized all faces. There was a rather fat old man, who was almost fully bald and around five foot tall talking to a Gryffindor who I believed to be McLaggen. However, when I walked in he immediately came over. "Ah, you must be Blaise Zabini! I'm Horace Slughorn, it's a pleasure to meet you" he said and shook my hand. "Take a seat, take a seat" he said and I sat down as far away from the Gryffindor as possible.

He talked to me a little, and asked me a little about some of the students in my year. However, people began to stream in quickly, and Slughorn rushed to introduce them to each of the students. I watched them all, and it wasn't long before Potter came in, beside another of his friends. Of course he'd invited Potter. Slughorn began to introduce Potter and Longbottom to each of the people in the compartment, and I was first. I didn't bother to acknowledge them, and they did likewise.

As the food was passed around, Slughorn began to talk to each person individually, and watching Belby almost choke on pheasant was probably the highlight of the lunch. It seemed everyone invited were either rich, talented, or had a family that was extremely influential. I, obviously, ticked all of the boxes.

Slughorn then began to interrogate me. He asked me about my apparently 'beautiful' mother (that made me cringe) and her seven husbands, who had all passed away, in what he thought to be 'mysterious circumstances', leaving us with quite a bit of gold… alright, mounds of gold. Really, everyone is quite daft. Though, my mother is a lot more intelligent than she puts on, and many aurors would easily fall for her tears, and if not… She had more to offer.

He had quickly moved onto Longbottom and I resumed eating, though I now listened quietly to his interrogations. When he finally got to Potter he mentioned something about being 'the chosen one' and I paused my eating to stare at him. Potter, the chosen one? Right. He had about as much chance as Longbottom.

Slughorn went on "Of course… there have been rumours for years…I remember when… well… After that terrible night…Lily… James… and you survived…And the word that you must have powers beyond the ordinary" he said and I coughed slightly in amused skepticism. Powers beyond the ordinary, huh? Slughorn must be a few years too old. "Yeah, Zabini" an angry voice suddenly burst out. "Because you're so talented… at posing!"

I slowly turned my head to see a red headed girl glaring furiously at me. Right, the Weasley girl. What was it Malfoy called her? Ah yes, 'Weaslette.' "Oh dear" Slughorn chuckled comfortably, and then turned to me. "You want to be careful, Blaise! I saw this young lady perform the most marvelous bat-bogey hex as I was passing her carriage! I wouldn't cross her!" he said and I merely smirked at her, disregarding his words. I was actually rather amused at the fact she had gotten so fired up at a single, small cough.

Slughorn then began to continue to talk, and I once again lost interest. The sky grew steadily darker and the sunset was soon upon us. Slughorn had finally just noticed when he had suddenly exclaimed "Good gracious, its getting dark already! I didn't notice that they'd lit the lamps! You'd better go and change into your robes, all of you. McLaggen, you must drop by and borrow that book on nogtails. Harry, Blaise… Any time you are passing. Same goes for you, miss!" he said to the Weasley girl.

"Well, off you go! Off you go!" he exclaimed and I walked out of the door, shooting Potter a look as I did so, which he only returned with a look of… interest. Trying to ignore that, I made my way back to the compartment I had been in, blocking out the chatter of the students behind me.

I quickly opened and slid the door shut; however it suddenly stopped before it reached the frame. I slid it out and in a few more times, however it still did not close "What's wrong with this thing?" I said in frustration, and tried to close it by force. Suddenly the door flew open causing me to topple over sideways onto Goyle, and I snarled at him as he threw insults around for a few moments, before he slammed the door shut and I fell into my seat, feeling rather ruffled.

Taking a deep breath, I glowered at Goyle. Crabbe went back to his comics and Malfoy sniggered, placing his head on Parkinson's lap as she stroked his hair. "So, Zabini," Malfoy said, "what did Slughorn want?" he asked, and, continuing to glare at Goyle, I replied. "Just trying to make up to well-connected people. Not that he managed to find many." I was probably one of the only people there who was actually worth anything.

Malfoy did not seem to be pleased by my news, "Who else had been invited?" he demanded to know more. "McLaggen from Gryffindor" I said, thinking back on it. "Oh yeah, his father's big in the ministry" Malfoy cut in, and I ignored him. "…Someone else called Belby, from Ravenclaw" I said, and Parkinson's shrieking voice cut in. "Not him, he's a prat!" she exclaimed.

"Longbottom, Potter and the Weasley Girl" I finished quickly, so as not to have any more interruptions. Malfoy then sat up very suddenly, knocking Parkinson's hand aside in the process. "He invited Longbottom?!" Malfoy asked, completely baffled. "Well, I assume so, as Longbottom was there" I said indifferently. "What's Longbottom got interest to Slughorn?" Malfoy demanded and I shrugged. Would he shut his trap?

"Potter, precious Potter… obviously he wanted to look at the 'chosen one'" Malfoy sneered, though I was hardly listening any more. "But that Weasley girl!" Malfoy went on, "What's so special about her?!" he spat. Parkinson then spoke up again. "A lot of boys like her" Pansy said, watching Malfoy carefully, though she then turned to me.

"Even you think she's good looking, don't you, Blaise? And we all know how hard you are to please" she said and I glanced to her, cocking my eyebrow. Stupid _and_ blind? Nice, Parkinson. "I wouldn't touch a filthy little blood traitor like her, no matter what she looked like" I said coldly. Parkinson looked quite pleased at this, and Malfoy finally sank back onto her lap.

"Well, I pity Slughorns taste" Malfoy began to talk again, and I began to stare once more out the window, which was now nothing but dark shadows stretching in an almost haunting manner. "Maybe he's going a bit senile. Shame, my father always said he was a good wizard in his time." I rolled my eyes. Here we go with the 'my father' talk again.

"My father used to be a bit of a favourite of his. Slughorn probably hasn't heard I'm on the train, or…-" Oh, poor Malfoy thinks the only reason he wasn't invited was because of a mix up. "-I wouldn't bank on an invitation" I cut in. "He asked me about Notts father when I first arrived. They used to be old friends, apparently, but when he heard he'd been caught by the ministry he didn't look happy, and Nott didn't get an invitation, did he? I don't think Slughorns interested in death eaters," I explained to him.

He let out an obviously forced humorless laugh and replied, "Well, who cares what he's interested in? What is he, when you come down to it? Just some stupid teacher" he yawned and I smirked at this. Pathetic.

"…I mean, I might not even be coming to Hogwarts next year, what's it matter to me if some fat old has-been likes me or not" he went on, and Parkinson abruptly stopped the grooming of his hair. "What do you mean, might not be coming to Hogwarts next year?" she asked, indignantly. A ghost of a smirk formed on Malfoy's lips, as he replied. "Well, you never know. I might have… Er… moved on to bigger and better things."

I glanced to Malfoy, once again cocking my eyebrow. Dumbfounded, Parkinson began to stroke Malfoy's blonde fringe again, "Do you mean…?" she asked, though she didn't have to explain what she was asking, as Malfoy shrugged. "Mother wants me to complete my education, but personally, I don't see it as that important these days. I mean, think about it… When the Dark Lord takes over, is he going to care how many OWL's or N.E.W.T's anyone's got?"

"Of course he isn't" Malfoy answered himself. "It'll be all about the kind of service he received, the level of devotion he was shown" Malfoy said, and I rolled my eyes at him. "And you think you'll be able to do something for him? Sixteen years old and not even fully qualified yet?" I asked scathingly. "I've just said, haven't I?" Malfoy shot back. "Maybe he doesn't care if I'm qualified. Maybe the job he wants me to do isn't something you don't need to be qualified for" Malfoy said, though his voice was quiet now.

I turned to my right to see Crabbe and Goyle staring at Malfoy, their mouths wide open, and Parkinson was gazing down at Malfoy as though she had never seen anyone so truly magnificent. I couldn't help myself and I snickered quietly.

"I can see Hogwarts" Malfoy finally said, and I too could see the large castle as I glanced out of the window. "We'd better get our robes on" he said. As the train came to a stop, Goyle threw the door open and punched his way through the already large crowd. Crabbe followed quickly after him, and I waited until there were a few less people in the corridor before exiting myself, though Malfoy stayed behind.

Making my way into the cool night, I joined a few of my other classmates outside a rather large gate. I boarded a carriage with Crabbe and Goyle, with Parkinson just after me. We were about to leave, when Malfoy emerged. He looked rather pleased with himself, and as he climbed onto the carriage, Parkinson immediately begged for him to tell her why he looked so smug.

Apparently Potter had been up in the luggage rack eavesdropping, and Malfoy had paralyzed him, covered him with an invisibility cloak, and left him there. I had to snigger quietly to myself. However, I had just about had it with Malfoys voice, Crabbe and Goyle grunts of amusement and Parkinson's shrill giggles, when we finally arrived at the castle.


	4. Ch 3 - You Always Do

_Chapter 3 ~ You Always Do_

_Blaise,_

_Hello, Dearest, how are you? How is sixth year treating you? Not too much homework, I hope. But, I suppose that's just a part of schooling, isn't it dear? Hahaha! Oh, it's been rather lonely in the house without you, but I suppose I should be used to it by now! Still, I'm finding it rather sad, don't you think dear? Oh, I'm sure you don't miss your poor old mother who raised you! You are probably having the time of your life!_

_Goodness knows what you're doing, though if it's anything like I used to do at school, I'm sure you're having a blast! Hahahahaha – Forget I said that, Blaise dearest, would you? Haha! Good boy. Oh, Blaise dear, you should have seen! Yesterday I went to France for a little shopping and there was the most gorgeous little cupboard in a tiny little shop there! Oh, I just had to buy it! Mind you, it was a muggle shop, so I had to pay a visit to Gringotts before I actually purchased it, but my, it was worth it!_

_You should have seen the muggle at the counter! She seemed frightened of me, dear! Why? I'm not too sure! I tried to put on my sweetest face! Oh, I hope I wasn't grimacing… No wonder the muggle was scared! That grimace could scare a werewolf away, and you can take that to Gringotts! Hahaha!_

_Uh… where was I?_

_Oh yes, the cupboard. It really is the prettiest little thing, dear! I'm sure you will love it! That is why I have put it in your room! Oh, dear, your room is looking a little too ordinary for my liking! I mean, I think you've had the same furniture in it for a few months now! That's ridiculous, dear, I'm redecorating. Just thought I would let you know! Oh, I know what you're going to say… 'Mother, I don't need new furniture every bloody day…' Well, Blaise – I think it's time. Like I said, it's been months, dear. Months!_

_Yes, yes – Its decided. Oooh, now I'm excited! You know what this means, dearest! Shopping Spree! I'd better get to work straight away, sorry dear, can't stay and chat for long! Hmm, hmm – One of the house elves are looking rather sick, dear… I hope it doesn't die. I never know what to do with bodies! Hmm hmm… Oh, Blaise, you are going to love it! It is most beautiful, and so soft I could run my finger over it for hours and just gaze at it… that's right, just gaze… Oh! Hahahahahahahaha! The cupboard, dear! The cupboard! Not the sickly house elf! Hahahahahahahaha!_

_Alright, Blaise dear, gotta run! Shopping spree coming my way! Will write tomorrow if I'm not too busy decorating, dear! Love, your Mother xoxoxoxokissesandhugsxoxoxox oxoxoxo_

Groaning softly, I rolled up the parchment, and placed it on the (rather green) grass beside me, next to my broom, before lying down on my back, and closing my eyes for a moment. My mother's words jumped out like she was actually speaking them, always managing to give me a dull headache. An earthy scent reached my nose, and I tried to relax myself. I was alone, thank Godric. Something I had wished for since I had arrived at my oh-so-beloved school.

There was always an annoying, constant chatter I could never get away from. I spent most of my time looking forward to the moments like these, when I was really and truly alone. The dormitory offered some relief, however it wasn't long before one of the others would arrive and there went the silence. Not that it ever really was 'silent'. There was never failing noise, whether from other students, or the black lake pushing against the window.

These moments were probably the only thing keeping me from going completely mad. Though, I had to admit, I was well and truly on that road. The air was cool, though I did not feel the cold. I'm never cold. I suppose you could call it a 'plus' about me, but really… When the Summer comes along and all you want to do is curl up and die, it really isn't a 'plus' after all. Oh, the joys of my life.

I mean, it isn't all bad. I still got my warm pumpkin juice every morning, and I still got to enjoy plenty of time reading… Yes, believe it or not, those are the highlights of my every day. However, some days are much better, usually featuring quidditch practice, and maybe even two or three coffee's, to help me along. Oh, yes. I do enjoy the strong, bitter taste of coffee… Finally, I have the days that stand out the most by far.

The days when I cannot sleep, and I decide to sneak out for a few moments to go visit the Forbidden Forest, and the rush I feel whilst out there makes everything fine again. Of course, it isn't often I can do this, but at least it makes everything right again. To me, at least. A small smirk played at the corner of my lips and I stretched my arms out, relaxing in the moment, and tried not to think about the homework that awaited me.

The end of my first week back, and I think I have enough homework to last me the year. I can only imagine how hectic exams are going to be… not to mention next year. That is, if I'm still alive by then, something that seems a rather bleak at this point. Opening my eyes, I glanced up at the sky. The clouds that covered it were grey, and seemed to be almost threatening a storm. I reluctantly sat up. To be caught in a storm was the last thing I needed right now. Reaching out, I grabbed my broom, and stuffed the letter in my pocket before standing and taking to the sky…

* * *

I had only just made it through the dark oak doors before first rain drops hit the earth. Keeping my head low, I made my way through the halls, a few students milling around me. As I kept walking more students stood, talking and laughing together. The noise grew as I walked towards the Slytherin dungeons, and I could pick up a voice louder than all the rest. Parkinson's, of course.

Pushing the doors open, I made my way through the common room quickly, which was packed with Slytherins of every year. Some laughed and joked together, whilst others played a loud game of exploding snap. Tracey Davis snogged an unfortunate fifth year, and I could hear Parkinson gossiping loudly to a group of girls, probably hoping to draw more attention to herself. On listening, I could only assume it was Millicent Bulstrode she was talking about.

"You should have seen her at the breakfast table this morning! She ate as though she'd never seen food in her life! Though, judging by her weight, we all know that isn't true…" Parkinson giggled loudly, a few other girls giggling after her. "I heard," Parkinson continued "that she has an eating disorder, where she has to eat every three hours, though… it wouldn't really be such a bad thing if she forgot to, hey?" Another loud giggle, followed by many.

I rolled my eyes and stepped down the stairs towards my dormitory. Once inside, I could hardly hear the voices, though it was far from quiet. No-one was in the dormitory, and I shrugged off my jacket, placing it on the end of my bed. As I did so, the letter fell out, and I stared at it for a few moments before deciding that I would forget about it very quickly, so I might as well write back now.

I glanced at my door, and sighed. I would have to go back out there. How fun. Shaking my head a little, and telling myself to get on with it, I made my way out, back through the common room. Parkinson seemed to have toned down the voice, and was now murmuring quietly, or as quietly as she could get, with a few other girls I hardly knew of. The Owlery wasn't too far away, though it did take quite a few stairs to reach it.

I made my way quickly, hoping to get this over with as fast as possible. I needed to finish off some History of Magic homework before the night was up, as I was hoping to get a reasonable amount of sleep that night, due to having class the next morning. It was still raining as I stepped outside to go up the stairs that reached the Owlery, though it wasn't pouring.

I tried to avoid the Owlery for the most part. It wasn't that I disliked owls, or mail. Just the scattered droppings and small carcasses over the floor weren't exactly the most welcoming. I quickly pulled out a piece of parchment and scribbled a quick message to my mother, before making my way to a nearby red-brown coloured barn owl. I attached the parchment to its leg and it flew off quickly, dropping a feather in its path. I watched it fly away, and when it was just a dark spot in the distance, I slowly made my way back to my dormitory.

Mother,

I don't need a new cupboard or furniture. As for the House Elf I'm sure you'll think of something. You always do.

Blaise.


	5. Ch 4 - The Lullaby

_Chapter 4 ~ The Lullaby_

The next morning I woke rather grudgingly, as I had only fallen asleep an hour before. However, I didn't have time to sleep in, and I changed quickly, though I was still the last person to the Great Hall. As I entered, it seemed the post had just arrived and I sat down next to Theodore Nott, ignoring the noise around me. Parkinson was once again gossiping, this time to Bulstrode and Davis. They seemed to be hanging onto her every word, though I noticed that this did not slow Bulstrode's eating, or should I say… inhaling. She could multitask. Who knew?

Daphne Greengrass glanced up at me from the other side of the table, and sneered at me. "Charming" I said, as I slowly poured myself some pumpkin juice, wishing they were serving some much needed coffee this morning. "Where were you?!" Parkinson demanded, and I sincerely hoped she wasn't talking to me. Though, of course she was. Keeping my eyes on my pumpkin juice, I ignored her, hoping she would take a hint.

It seemed she did and, scoffing, she turned to Greengrass and began to complain that some people should be pushed off of the Astronomy Tower. She had that right. It seemed Greengrass too agreed, and I have to snicker quietly to myself. I took a small sip of my (delicious) pumpkin juice, and glanced around the table. Nott was eating quietly beside me, and Parkinson was once again talking to Bulstrode and Davis.

There was a bowl of porridge in the middle of the table that seemed to have been stirred, but not eaten. I glance at Greengrass again. I will never understand why she continuously pours herself a bowl of porridge every morning when she doesn't even take a bite. Surely she would have learnt by now? Though, I suppose, unlike me, some people just don't catch on very fast. Pity.

She saw me glance at her, and she merely turned her head towards Parkinson again, not even sparing me a second glance. One can only wonder how another could look at Parkinson's squashed in face for more than a few minutes without feeling ill. Pushing that thought away, I ate breakfast slowly and only just made it to class in time. It wouldn't have mattered, though. Professor Binn's voice did not help my energy levels, and I found myself again wishing there had been coffee that morning.

The day went on slowly, and I doubt I really got much work, if any, done at all. That afternoon the Slytherin Quidditch Team had its first practice of the year. It was fairly uneventful… pretty much a revision of what we had been doing all of last year. Malfoy kept disrupting the practice with witless remarks, and I think Crabbe and Goyle were the only ones laughing… as usual, I suppose.

Practice was over fairly quickly, and I escaped to the library. It was quiet in there, mostly filled with Ravenclaws; however, there were a few students from the other houses there as well. As far as I could see, the only other Slytherins there were Greengrass, Nott and a small second year who looked like he would have better suited Hufflepuff.

Walking around for a few moments, I found myself a book that looked promising and sat down at the nearest table. Nott was a few seats away and he glanced up as I sat down. However Greengrass merely kept on reading, ignoring me, her dark hair in a bun that was slowly coming undone. I smirked slightly to myself and flipped the book open to the first page.

As for Nott, the weedy boy and I had been sharing a dormitory for five, going on six, years, though we had only spoken a few times. He preferred his solitude (with the exception of Greengrass), and I preferred mine. It was as simple as that. Plus, we hardly crossed each other's paths. Despite both being in Slytherin, and the sharing the same dormitory, we led completely different lives.

The words on the page seemed to make no sense to me and I realized I had been reading the same line over and over again. I sighed in frustration and closed it; I really didn't even have the energy to even sit any more. Standing up, I shoved my hands into my pockets and went off to my dormitory, hoping for a good night's sleep…

* * *

_**She sang a sweet lullaby, and although her words were soft, her eyes were hard and cold. A dark, rich substance trickled down into a goblet, and the singing became louder. Her nails were painted a deep blue, and she moved her fingers obliviously.**_

_**There was a flash of red, and a burbling noise that made no sense.**_

_"__**Vieni mia cara, mia bella ..." she sung, her soft footsteps echoing gently on the hard floor. Water shook violently as droplets met its surface. A clock chimed distantly. Her singing became louder, words sung sweetly, a dull thud repeating with each step… "Non dobbiamo temere"**_

_**The clock chimes again. Another flash of red. The burbling is louder, more urgent. "Non bisogna nascondere" she sings, every step on the dark wooden floor getting louder, closer, echoing throughout, shaking windows.**_

_**The droplets continue, each drop oozing out slowly. Impatient fingers tap against a table, a scowling face. The clock chimes once more, masking the broken sobs of a child. There is a flurry, the burbling is becoming clearer… louder… **_

_"__**Per presto vedremo ..." her voice lifts, the melody beginning to lose its sweet, fragile touch, replaced with a cold, cutting tone.**_

_**The clock chimes again, every chime jolting violently. A child sits, though only his curly hair can be recognized. A droplet of water crashes, and a clash of thunder is heard. A bright light flashes suddenly in the sky, as the blurred voice is frantic now. The once sweet voice now hard and uncaring "…perché presto sapremo'**_

_**There is a burning, fire blazing and a sickening stench. A door swings open. The clock chimes louder. Its every beat becoming unbearable, ringing throughout, tearing and ripping. The child stops, and glances up, the fire consuming him. "Così soggiorno quiete, amato"**_

_**The red flashes once more, and the once frantic burble is now gasps for breath, dark figure flailing hopelessly. There is one more dull thud, before a large clash jolts all. Everything crashes down, glass shatters, and fire takes over, consuming everything. The burning child screams in terror. The voice finishes with a cutting pitch.**_

_"__**E il sonno"**_

_**There is silence. Dark red lips twist into a curled smile. Red flashes for the last time and he realizes that the dark figure flailing hopelessly covered in red is himself.**_

_**She watches apathetically as he drowns in his own blood.**_


	6. Ch 5 - Scars

_Chapter 5 ~ Scars_

I awoke with a jolt, darkness surrounding. After blinking rapidly and taking much needed gasps of breath, my eyes began to focus. I could just make out the figures in the beds, and Crabbe and Goyle's synchronized snoring. My head throbbed painfully and I groaned softly. Aren't people supposed to grow out of nightmares? I shook my head, and stood up. No-one ever 'grows out' of nightmares. They just learn how to deal with them.

I walked into the bathroom rubbing my temples, before splashing my face with water. The mirror hung just above, and I glanced up. A tired looking boy with a hard expression on his face stared back at me. His eyes were cold and his jaw was set. And his shirt was… ripped. Cursing under my breath, I glanced down at my shoulder where a small hole in my shirt had formed. I sighed and touched the frayed edge.

The rip had not been there the night before, and I could only assume that I had somehow ripped it when I was asleep. A very small rise of my skin made me pause for a moment, and my eyebrows furrowed. Looking back into the mirror I leaned in closer and looked at my shoulder. I couldn't see anything. Sighing, I reached back to my shirt and pulled it off over my head, throwing it carelessly to the floor.

I once again looked into the mirror, looking over my shoulder. There. Leaning closer I saw what I had felt only moments ago. There were four very small rises on my flesh, hardly visible, but long. I traced the marks with my finger, following them across my shoulder and down my back.

* * *

_A woman paced quickly around the room, her hands clenched together tightly. She muttered to herself quickly, words mixing together in a long drawl. Her dark hair was everywhere and a small boy sat quietly in a corner of the room. "No, no ... Non possono fare questo..." she muttered to herself, breathing quickly and harshly. Blaise didn't like to see his mother in such distress, and he watched as she paced, his eyes locked on her._

_She ran her fingers through her curly hair and then snapped them, her mind racing. She paused for a moment, before muttering to herself again "naturalmente, naturalmente!" Wheeling around, she spoke to Blaise, quietly "Dear, we have visitors this evening. They are going to be looking at things in our house, and I want you to stay very quiet, and not say a word. Do you understand?" she said, and Blaise watched her for a moment more before nodding slowly._

"…_Good, come along" she replied, and she began to smooth her hair down. Blaise stood up from his chair and walked over to his mother's side, dragging his feet slowly. The boy had barely any sleep for a few nights, and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. Mustering up all the strength he could, he turned and gave his mother the best smile he could manag_e _to assure her everything was going to be alright. There was a pause and Belladonna stared at her son._

_Her gaze was cold, and cutting. "…You're smiling" she finally said, and Blaise's smile immediately faltered. "Of all the things, that could possibly go wrong…" she said, her eyes slipping closed briefly, rubbing her temples. Blaise pursed his lips, not liking where this was going. Belladonna's chocolate eyes flashed open once more and she spoke, her tone harsh. "Do you want me to go to Azkaban, Blaise?! Is that what you want?! Your mother dead?!" she said, taking a step towards him._

_Taking a step back, Blaise's eyes widened as he watched his mother unfold. "You should be crying, Blaise! Crying! Your father just died! But no, tears are too much to ask of Blaise, and he is smiling!" She said, her voice getting louder and stronger. Blaise wasn't exactly sure who she was talking to anymore. "Is it so hard to ask… for some tears?!" she said, roughly pushing Blaise into the brick wall behind him._

_Blaise gasped in pain as his back connected to the wall. His back hurt immensely and he stared up at his mother through frightened eyes. Belladonna leaned down and stared Blaise straight in the eye, her voice had lowered now, though she spoke in a crazed tone. "Come on, Blaise. Cry. Do what mummy is doing. Cry like mummy, Blaise" she spoke, her ice-cold eyes welling with tears that quickly overflowed and streamed down her cheeks._

_Blaise was frozen with shock and he stared at his mother, watching the tears cascade down her cheek, her dark eyes wild and deranged. "Cry, boy!" his mother shouted, hitting him across the face. Blaise cried out in pain, his own eyes then filling with tears. His face stung from the blow and he raised his hands in a weak attempt to shield himself. His mother put her hands on his shoulder, her face tense, her long nails digging deeply into his flesh._

_Her voice dropped again, and she watched Blaise as she slowly brought her hand across his shoulder, his fresh blood seeping out from the cuts her nails had made. Once again crying out in pain, Blaise began to sob, his tears covering his face. Belladonna closed her eyes once more, and her head suddenly snapped at the sound of a crack that came from outside. She finally retracted her nails from his skin, taking a step back from him. _

_Blaise dropped onto his knees, sobbing, blood oozing from the four deep cuts along his shoulder; his back and face already beginning to bruise. "Come, Blaise" Belladonna ordered, her voice once again calm and steady. "We have visitors" she said, and with that, she left the room, leaving Blaise cowered on the floor behind her. _

* * *

Dropping my fingers from the scar, I sighed softly and looked back into the mirror. Finally I turned and walked swiftly back to bed, ignoring my ripped shirt on the ground, hoping I might be able to get a few more moments of rest before dawn broke.


	7. Ch 6 - Just Another Day

_Chapter 6 ~ Just Another Day…_

"I don't even know why she bothers!" Parkinson's shrill voice once again met me as I sat down in the Great Hall for dinner one evening. Ignoring her, I began to serve myself some food, as she continued to speak loudly "I mean, come on. She expects me to do a whole bloody report on Venomous Tentacula? And then she gives me a detention for not doing it, when I'm sure she knows there's no chance I'm going to _that_, either."

"You're upset at Professor Sprout because you're an awful student. How typical" Greengrass's voice cut in. "Take it how you want" Parkinson continued. "I am not doing that detention" she said stubbornly, and I glanced up at my classmates. Parkinson was angrily stuffing food into her oversized mouth, her eyebrows scrunched; only putting more emphasis on her squashed-in nose. She always did this when she was thinking hard about something, or simply upset.

Beside her, Malfoy's eyes were not on his food, but on the professors table. It seemed every day he had been getting quieter, more serious. His skin seemed more pale than usual, and there was a very thoughtful, though tense look on his face. My eyes skimmed over him to Bulstrode. She was eating by herself, and I smirked at how close she was to her plate, bending her back at what had to be an uncomfortable angle, for her size.

My eyes once again travelling, I ignored Davis who was currently slightly further up the table, giggling loudly with a seventh year. Parkinson's eyes also travelled to Davis, and she sighed slightly. "What a slag" she said. I had to snicker. Oh yes, Parkinson was famous for her outstanding observations.

"Well, she has to amuse herself somehow." Malfoy muttered in reply. "I doubt she can even understand the work we're assigned" he said, causing Parkinson to giggle. My eyes shifted to Nott. He was speaking quietly to Greengrass. Not any different from usual, and my eyes skipped to her. As he spoke, she put her fork down, speaking quietly to him.

I sighed slightly at the lack of anything even slightly interesting. "Still, the boy next to the one she's talking to is giving her evil eyes. I think she dated him for, like, two weeks at the end of last year, or something…" Parkinson said. Malfoy merely shook his head. "Who hasn't she been with~?" Once again giggling, Parkinson then paused. "Well, you… I hope~" she said. Malfoy also then paused, slightly offended at this. "A half blood~?" he asked her, giving her a look.

"Just checking~" Parkinson said with a smug look on her pug-like face. At another loud giggle from Davis, Greengrass shook her head slightly. "No self respect" she muttered, and Nott agreed with her. "Very few people have any left" Nott said. It seemed just as he uttered that, Davis stood up and made her way over to Bulstrode, sitting down with a disgustingly overjoyed look on her face.

"Sup Slag" Parkinson said, causing Davis's head to snap to her, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "…Hi?" she finally replied, caution in her tone. I moved the rice around on my plate. It looked unappetizing and I was no longer hungry. "Don't start" Nott then said firmly to Parkinson, defending Davis. Parkinson turned to him and gave him a smug little smile, her voice purring with faux innocence. "Start what~?"

"Being a bitch" he replied, his tone showing he was obviously not in the mood to be dealing with the morons he was surrounded by. Her tone the same, she giggled slightly "I have no idea what you mean~" she said, and I sighed looking up and glancing around the Great Hall. I faintly heard Greengrass snapping at Parkinson, however I was beginning to block their voices out… A very valuable skill I had practiced over the years.

My eyes skimmed over the enchanted roof, past the professors table and over the other houses tables. Most of the students were laughing and chatting happily, many still making their way through the great amount of food we are served each night. Sighing slightly, I decided to head off. A walk would be nice. Peace and quiet after all this noise may be just what I needed.

Greengrass then stood up, and began to make her way off, and I stood up after her, once again glancing over my classmates. Malfoy was still staring at the Professors table, and Parkinson was watching him, a concerned look on her face. Nott was watching Greengrass leave and Davis and Bulstrode were still eating.

I made my way out swiftly, the noise of the Great Hall slowly beginning to die out. As I walked towards the marble staircase, Greengrass, whom was already half way up, paused. Ignoring her, I continued to make my way up, my head down. I could not be bothered lifting my chin to show my superiority towards her. Surely she knew, by now.

"And where are you headed~?" a quiet, clear voice came. Glancing at Greengrass, I watched her for a few moments before replying. "What's it to you~?" I asked, my tone low and clear, though quiet, also. As she reached the top of the stairs, she peered down at me curiously. "It's nearly curfew… And the dungeons are downstairs. Merely wondering" She said, and my eyes narrowed.

"I still don't see how that has anything to do with you" I said, and she sighed faintly. Shaking her head, she turned and walked off to the left, speaking over her shoulder. "And thank Godric it doesn't." Rolling my eyes I reached the top of the stairs, turning off to the right. Her light footsteps quickly faded into the distance, and I walked through the halls quietly, trying to clear my mind.

It was dark, and quiet. I passed a few ghosts, who merely looked shocked to see a student walking around on their own at this time of night. I didn't bother lighting my path, merely moving quietly and steadily through the halls of the castle. I don't know how long I walked, though it must have been for a bloody long time. When I finally did reach the dungeons, the common room was empty. It seemed my walk had gone on for so long everyone was sleeping.

There was a small sound at the door that made me pause in the middle of the common room, and turn my head to watch Malfoy enter, his head low. As he caught sight of me, however, he raised his head and sneered slightly, walking straight past me towards our dorm. Cocking an eyebrow at him, I silently followed after. One might wonder what he was doing at this time of night.

To be perfectly honest I couldn't care less.


	8. Ch 7 - The Reason

_Chapter 7 ~ The Reason Behind the Evacuation of Europe_

I didn't get any sleep that night, or the night after that, or the next… My mind was far too active, and soon the days and the weeks were just passing by in a blur full of dull classes, homework, and unhealthy amounts of coffee. I spent most of my out of class time in the library, studying and doing homework. Greengrass and Nott were usually always there too and, despite all sitting at the same table, very few words were exchanged. Still, they were much better company than some.

One afternoon I was working on History of Magic homework. I was sitting across from Greengrass, and not far away were seated Davis and Bulstrode who both looked perplexed and horrified at their work. Greengrass was hard at work, on what looked like Ancient Runes homework, her hair up tied up in a bun that was slowly coming undone. I glanced up to watch her for a few moments.

She wrote slowly, carefully and very precisely. It was interesting to watch someone so focused on their work. Then, to my surprise, she frowned, folded her piece of parchment and started again on a new roll. I smirked a little, going back to my own work. She was a perfectionist, it was easy to tell. "Do you understand?" a voice whispered from a few seats further down. "I was hoping you did!" the voice came in response. I tried to ignore them, writing quickly, wanting to get this work done by an appropriate hour.

"Well, I think I sort of understand… But I still don't get how it all fits…" the first voice came again, which I could now recognize as Davis's. The second voice came again, obviously belonging to Bulstrode. "D'you think we could ask Daphne?" she asked. "I was about to say the same thing" Davis said. "You don't think she'd mind, do you?" she asked. There was a pause before Bulstrode replied. "I don't think so… She seems in an okay mood today" she said.

There was another pause and finally Davis's voice picked up in volume, calling to Greengrass. "Hey Daphne… Do you think you could spare a few minutes to help us with our homework?" she asked. There was another small pause and I saw Greengrass place her quill down. "Sure… What is it?" Greengrass asked. Both Bulstrode and Davis seemed to let out small sighs of relief before Davis replied. "Umm… Arithmancy" she said.

"Oh~" Greengrass said and she stood up, making her way over to them. She spoke to them, her voice quiet and finally there was a few moments of peace as I blocked out their soft voices. I continued to scribble down answers, the scratching of my quill a comforting, peaceful noise. "Are you already learning seventh year stuff" I heard Davis's impressed voice, quite a few minutes later. It was obvious who she was talking to.

"Woah" I heard Bulstrode say and I snickered gently. So, Greengrass was studying seventh year arithmancy. It didn't surprise me. But to Bulstrode and Davis it must look like a different language. Sometimes I'm almost sympathetic at their obvious lack of intelligence. Almost. Still, not everyone can be blessed with an excellent intellect like mine.

Finally Greengrass sat back down, where she was working also. Once again, the whispering between Bulstrode and Davis began. "Wow, she's really smart" I heard Davis say to Bulstrode. "Yeah" Bulstrode agreed. "Lucky she's in a good mood, too" Bulstrode replied. "I don't like to talk to her when she's in a bad mood" Davis said, and I couldn't help but simply wonder how sixteen and seventeen year olds such as themselves could be using such basic language. They still spoke the way they did when they were first years.

"Yeah, she's scary," Bulstrode said. "Don't walk up to her unexpectedly when her back is turned." She warned Davis. "Why not?" Davis asked her, nervously. "She turns around really quickly with her wand and petrifies you. It's scary" she said. I paused my writing for a moment. Does Greengrass really petrify people who walk up to her unexpectedly? …No, no, the real question is… How did she not hear _Bulstrode_ of all people approaching her? You would have to be deaf not to hear the loud groan of the floors with her every step, at the very least…

"What's it like being petrified?" came Davis's alarmed voice. "Weird" Bulstrode replied. "All your muscles tighten and you can't move at all… It's scary" she explained. "Doesn't sound very pleasant…" Davis said. That was when I felt it. I have a… Let's say, 'gift.' I can _always_ tell when someone is looking at me, wherever they are. I paused and smirked as I realized who it was. Greengrass. I didn't move for a few moments; however when she continued watching me I finally glanced up. She had an almost interested expression on her face, and as she saw me glance up she smirked.

I cocked an eyebrow at her, meeting her with the same steady gaze. After a few more moments she glanced away, packing up her Ancient Runes and bringing out her Astrology homework. I watched her for a little while longer, wondering why she had begun to look at me. Finally I went back to my work, but it was only a few moments later when I felt another pair of eyes on me. Though, not Greengrass's. With a little sigh I glanced up again. This time it was Bulstrode who was watching me, though as soon as my eyes met hers, she turned pink and quickly went back to her work.

Alright, do I have something on my face?

Shaking my head a little I went back to my work, only to hear a quiet whisper from Bulstrode. "They keep looking at each other" she said to Davis. "Maybe they fancy each other" Davis replied. Oh, the constant mindless, never ending gossip that comes from the Slytherin girls. I was about to block their voices out again when Bulstrode said "What if they do, though? Scary couple…" she said.

"Yeah" Davis giggled and I couldn't help but vaguely wonder who on earth this 'scary' couple would be. "Wait!" Bulstrode whispered to Davis "I thought Daphne and Theodore fancied each other" Bustrode said. So, they were talking about Greengrass… Who on earth did they think would be 'scary' with her? To be perfectly honest the thought of her and anyone together was a scary thought in itself- Hang on, they're not implying that _I_…

"Me too" Davis said. "Wait! If Daphne fancies Blaise, does that mean Theo's open?" Yes. That was exactly what they were implying. "I guess so… Wait, what if he still fancies Daph?" Bulstrode asked. I assumed they were talking about Nott and finally I glanced up to Bulstrode. I was not impressed. Do they really not have anything better to do than to sit here and play 'matchmaker'?

"Do you really think she…" Bulstrode cut off with a small squeak, immediately going pink as her eyes caught mine. "What?" Davis said, not even glancing up to her. "I think he heard us…" Bulstrode whispered and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. The whole library could hear them, crystal clear. Slowly Davis lifted her head to give a sheepish smile, pursing her lips. I cocked my eyebrow at her, before turning slightly to glance at Greengrass. Greengrass was watching them also, her eyebrows slightly raised.

She glanced to me, an amused smirk on her lips before she went back to her work. I did the same, but not before noticing that her hair had almost completely fallen out of her bun. I couldn't help but smirk as I tried to once again focus on History of Magic. "Did you see that?" Bulstrode whispered. "…Yes" Davis answered. "Weird…" Bulstrode said. "Just last year they hated each other's guts!" she said.

"Yeah, they looked about ready to kill each other" Davis said. Alright, so this was true, and we were ready to kill each other. Fifth year was almost unbearable… For both of us. And it seemed we took it out on each other, making the year all the more frustrating. Fortunately, it seemed we had both moved past that, now. "Ew, what if they start snogging!?" Bulstrode suddenly exclaimed. _Excuse me?_

Davis giggled and there was a pause. "Well, I don't think it would be anything like Draco and Pansy" she said. "That would just be weird… And kind of disturbing" she said. Alright, what in Godric's name…? Finally, I couldn't help myself and I glanced up to them again. Neither of them seemed to notice, however, far too preoccupied. "What if they start dating and break up?" Bulstrode asked. "Hell!" Davis looked alarmed before she let out a sudden giggle.

"We'd have to evacuate the school!" she exclaimed. "Board the train and escape as fast as we can!" she said. Bulstrode let out a nervous laugh. "All of Hogsmeade, too" she added. Davis let out another giggle. "All of Scotland!" she exclaimed. Alright, I have to admit, I was a little amused. "Next thing you know" Davis continued, "All of Europe will have to evacuate and there will be the muggle navy and sirens and cops everywhere!" she exclaimed as both of the girls erupted into giggles. "Oh merlin, that's a scary thought" Bulstrode said. "Yeah" Davis agreed.

"At least you've learnt some geography, Tracey" Greengrass cut in. I glanced over to her. She was watching the girls, her eyebrows arched. Both of them suddenly froze. "…Were… Were you listening this whole time?" Davis asked, finally letting out a small, nervous giggle. I smirked slightly, and Greegrass gave her a slight nod. "Oh… erm…" both Davis and Bulstrode went very pink. Shaking her head slightly, Greengrass turned to me once again with a little smirk before she returned to her work. I did the same, smirking as I noticed her hair had completely fallen out of her bun.


	9. Ch 8 - Adrenaline

Chapter 8 ~ Adrenaline

I watched as the warm water fell, flowing freely before hitting the shower floor, slipping quickly down the drain. I leant against the stone, and made no move to enter the dark shower. It was late. Or, early, to be precise. I'd just had quidditch practice, and where most of the Slytherin boys showered in the locker room, I preferred the privacy of the dorm showers. Finally I began to strip, pulling my shirt off over my head and tossing it to the floor.

I unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, easily pulling them off of my left leg. I took my time with my right, balancing myself carefully on my left leg, leaning against the stone wall for extra balance. Once they were off, I tossed them to the side also, quickly ridding of my boxers and stepping inside the dark stone shower. I didn't step into the stream of water yet, reaching my hand out and letting the water run over it. Letting my body get used to the feeling. Slowly, I edged my way into the water, finally standing still, letting the water rush over me.

Thoughts.

Thoughts are interesting things. Everything you know, have learnt, remember. Things you plan for the future, outcomes. Numerous thoughts, always coming to the surface of your mind. You can choose to hold onto those thoughts. Analyse them, think on them... Or you can let them go. An exercise far easier said than done. Simple thoughts can trigger dramatic responses, whether you realize or not. They can bring back old memories, past experiences, and lead to strong emotions. Anger, sadness, happiness, bitterness, fear, anxiety, stress.

Water.

I've always been afraid of water. I can't quite link back the reason for this to any memories, or bad past experiences. Perhaps it was just something I was born with. I am a land creature, and to most land creatures, water can be a daunting thing. It's a phobia, I will admit. 'Aquaphobia', its called. The correct term would be 'Hydrophobia', meaning 'water-fear' in Greek... Though Hydrophobia happens to refer to a symptom you get in the later stages of rabies, so I'd rather stick to the term 'aqua'.

Scars.

I scar very easily. Every tiny scratch I ever got as a child, every time my flesh tore, left a small, but noticeable mark. Obviously, scars cover me from head to toe, but most of them are very faint. So faint, you would have to get very close to see them. Closer than I would let anyone get. There are a few that are bolder, though. A few that have left indentations in my skin, such as the one on my shoulder. And finally my leg. My left leg, to be precise. It has caused me grief for more than a year now, thanks to one foolish night.

A large, bold line runs down from the right side of my left knee, to the bottom left side of my ankle. It's the darkest part of my skin, the line a width of my index and pointer finger. The rest of the skin on my left calf is also dark. It is covered in small, sharp lines. More scars. Whenever its about to rain, I can feel it in my left leg. Always easily balanced, and stable, I could stand just on my right leg for hours. I'd be lucky to stand on my left for more than a few seconds.

The Forbidden Forest.

Perhaps more pain than it is gain. But I can't help myself. Its like a drug, an addiction. Not the forest itself, but the feeling it gives me. The rush. The high.

The adrenaline.

Lifting up into the air I sighed as the cool air brushed against my face. I hovered on my broom for a while longer, taking in the feeling and trying to hold it there, saving it for a rainy day. Closing my eyes, I spread my arms out, and I could finally breathe freely. No matter how stressful and cramped it got in that school I could always rely on this for release, and the freedom I longed for.

My eyes flashed open and I leant forward slightly. Then I was off, racing towards the forbidden forest. And though the Forbidden Forest was just that - 'forbidden' - it felt completely natural as I flew through the thick trees, dodging familiar branches that were in my path. It was too easy. There was no thrill. Though, that was no matter, I had other ways of getting my fix of adrenaline.

Smirking to myself, I rose slightly higher and peered down below me, slowing as I did so. I could see everything underneath me. The plants and trees moved in the wind, whispering to each other. I travelled for another few minutes, deeper and deeper into the forest, before I finally spotted my target. The giant creature looked up and saw me. Its red-brown coat shone in the moonlight and I almost smiled at the beautiful bear watching me.

Its head lifted, and it sniffed at the breeze. Out of curiosity, the bear stood on its back legs, and I sucked in a sharp breath as its size truly astounded me. It was easily double my size, most likely male. Remembering the task at hand, I plotted a way to dodge around it, without getting myself killed in the process. I wanted to annoy it. I wanted to feel the adrenaline rush as it charged at me, ready to kill.

The bear was still unsure whether I was a threat or not, and he continued to look in my direction. I leant forward and sped towards him. I circled once around him before I turned and sped off in the opposite direction. The bear let out a small grunt, as it dropped back onto four legs. I dodged back towards him, even closer than before, and the bear finally fought back. He swat at me with his paw and missed me by an inch.

I let out a loud laugh. I could feel my energy pulsing, and I was alight with the fire and thrill of the moment. My sense of danger had completely vanished as I dodged, weaved and flew past and around the bear. Letting out a roar, he began to randomly swat at me, becoming angry. My turns became swifter and faster, and I knew one wrong move would equal a slow and painful death.

My breathing was ragged. I tried to avoid the huge paws coming down on me in what seemed every direction. I was so close to him. I could almost touch the thick red-brown fur that covered his body. Though everything flew by me so quickly, I could make out every detail of the bear; each marking of his coat, the way his black nose quivered, his sharp teeth that bared in defiance and how his swats became more like flails as time went on,

I remembered his eyes. They were dark as night, rolling back into his head in fury… yet they were wise and thoughtful. With these thoughts in my mind, I suddenly realized where I was. Right next to those razor sharp teeth. I turned swiftly to the right. That was when I felt his teeth clamp onto my left leg, like blades slicing into my skin and ripping at my flesh. I let out a yell, swiftly flying out to the right, before the bear could clamp his jaw down any harder and bring me down with it.

I flew as fast as I could back towards the edge of the forest, and I dodged the same branches with a little less grace. I reached the clearing faster than I ever had before, and I slowed down, hovering above the grass before I flopped down onto the ground. I rolled onto my back, and I struggled to get my breath back. I let out a laugh, a crazed laugh, and my head turned back to the forbidden forest.

I had only lied there for a few moments when the pain in my left leg began to build so quickly and intensely, I could not ignore it. I cried out and sat up. I looked down and the first thing I saw was red… Red, red and more red. It took me a few moments to realize the red was my blood, pooling out over the grass frighteningly quickly. The pain was getting worse, and I wrapped my hands around my leg to hopefully restrict the blood flow… Only to withdraw them at the texture of my leg.

My skin was literally strewn around an open gash down my shin, flapping off of my leg in large chunks. The whole bottom part of my leg had been torn to shreds, and the only solid part was my tibia, which held the flaps of skin. My foot was split in two, but it was there, hanging limply off of the rest of the skin and bone that was once a leg. It was all red. I cussed loudly and tried to collect my thoughts before I passed out from the pain, or the blood loss.

Madam Pomfrey.

Standing up on my right leg I retrieved my broom from the ground (or the beginnings of a pool of blood) and mounted as gently as I could. I was dizzy and I could feel my heart beat in my head, throbbing and pulsing. I wanted to be sick. I glanced up to the castle. I needed to get there… Quickly. I pushed off the ground and my eyes followed the castles dark, gloomy walls until they reached the hospital wing. To go straight there I would have to go over the black lake.

Ignoring the thought of flying over the dark water, ready to consume me, I moved forward, crouching low on my broom to pick up speed. I flew up higher and higher, up and above the water. That was when I passed out. I hurtled towards the dark lake, down towards the rocks and the water below me. My right side scraped against the rough, jagged rocks as I fell into the water.

My eyes opened as the Black Lake's salty water touched my open wounds. My body was engulfed in water and pain. On sheer willpower to live my arms and leg began to kick and flail, desperate to reach the surface and escape the nightmare. I broke the top of the water and took in a deep breath, as I tried to hold myself afloat. My broom. I needed my broom.

My breathing was shallow and ragged and I searched blindly in the water. It lied on the rocks, surprisingly still in one piece. After what seemed like hours I was once again flying towards the hospital wing, gripping onto my broom for dear life. I was soaked, completely chilled to the bone, and in agony. Every breath was torture and I trembled and shuddered uncontrollably.

I limped/hopped into the hospital wing and dropped my broom to the floor. I could only manage to stand there for a few moments before I crumbled to the floor. My clothes were soaked. Every part of me was soaked. A liquid oozed onto the floor. A mixture of water and blood.

I stepped out of the shower swiftly, wrapping a towel around myself. Quickly turning the faucet, the steady stream of water ceased and I stood there for a few moments, trying to snap out of it. Groaning, I pat myself down and changed.

Thoughts.

You can choose to hold on, or let go.

I sat disinterested in my homework one evening, in the library. As usual, the library was filled with mainly Ravenclaws and, of course, Granger. I was sitting on a table in a corner furthest from all of the other students with Nott and Greengrass. Nott rested his eyes beside me, asleep on his arms, leaning on the table. Greengrass sat across from him, silently reading a novel for History of Magic. I glanced up and around the library. shifting slightly in my seat. I'd been feeling very restless all day. Its about time to take a trip to the Forbidden Forest, I thought. Still, the night seemed so very far away.

I glanced to Daphne and she caught my eye, though I didn't lock eyes with her for very long, my gaze drifting to the sleeping boy beside me. I couldn't help but snicker a little. I doubt a thunderstorm would have woken him, he was sleeping so deeply and soundly. "He's had a long day. Sort of gave up" Greengrass spoke, her voice quiet, the corners of her lips twitching up slightly. I couldn't help but smirk slightly, absentmindedly fiddling with the quill in my hand... Which gave me a rather interesting... idea.

Turning slightly, I placed my quill to Nott's arm and began to draw, watching Nott to make sure he didn't wake up. There was a pause and Greengrass let out a tiny laugh, before she dabbed her silver and navy blue quill to her ink well, leant over, and began to draw on his arm also. I couldn't help but be somewhat surprised at her actions... I had assumed she would stop me. Nott was her best friend after all. Then again, it was Greengrass, and she'd never really been the sweet, sympathetic type.

Slowly my masterpiece came to life. I simply drew a little stick figure man, holding a large stack of books, doing his best to hold them all up. I then moved a few centimetres down Nott's arm and drew the same stick figure man, however he had lost the battle, and was lying on the ground, books piled on top of him. I couldn't help but peer over to Greengrass's drawing. It was a picture of Malfoy and Parkinson, their tongues going wild. She drew a heart around them, adding the finishing touch - A banner beneath it saying "True Love."

She glanced over and laughed quietly at my drawing. "Little morbid, don't you think...~?" she asked me, and I smirked, admiring my silly piece of work. "Mm? Well... Its how I'd like to die" I replied. I gestured to her own little piece, my smirk growing. "Oh and apparently my drawing is the morbid one~" I said, and she laughed gently. "Well played" she said, drawing what looked like the beginning of a cat on Nott's cheek.

It was then Nott shifted slightly, his eyebrows furrowing slightly, though he didn't wake up. I went back to his arm, writing in big letters. 'C'è sono sempre conseguenze quando uno addormentarsi cadute in biblioteca'

"What does that mean~?" Greengrass asked, glancing over, past her detailed cat drawing."There are always consequences when one falls asleep in the library~" I told her, putting my quill down for a moment to admire my work just a little more. Greengrass laughed gently once again. "Perfect" she said, nodding gently, signing "Daphne" beneath her cat. "Wake him up" I told her. "I want to see how quickly he notices."

Greengrass shook her head slightly before placing her quill down, pulling a blank expression and gently placing a hand on Nott's shoulder, shaking him a little. "Theo~? Theo wake up...~" she said, and it wasn't long before his head fell to the side slightly, staring up at Greengrass, his eyes half lidded. I watched quietly, and picked up my quill once more... This could be interesting~


End file.
